We've all been there - the "pick me" phase where we buy into patriarchal BS and seek validation from men over supporting other women. For me, it meant believing the lie that female friends were catty and untrustworthy. I desperately wanted male approval, even if it meant throwing other women under the bus.
Looking back, I realize how deeply I had internalized misogyny - the ingrained prejudice against women and women's interests. From a young age, we're bombarded with negative stereotypes that pit women against each other as rivals rather than allies. We're conditioned to compete for men's attention rather than lift each other.
In my formative years, I subconsciously adopted the misogynistic view that to be accepted and valued, I had to reject anything deemed "too feminine" - being emotional, having strong bonds with female friends, and prioritizing traditional femininity. I became a "not like other girls" girl, thinking putting down other women made me edgier or more appealing to men. Talk about cringe.
Unlearning takes conscious effort, but expanding my circle to include more empowered, feminist voices helped reshape my mindset. I'm still a work in progress, but now I embrace conventional femininity in all its power. I cherish my female friendships and support sisterhood over succumbing to the petty infighting misogyny breeds.
I hope more women can move from being "pick me" to unapologetically picking ourselves and each other. Rejecting internalized misogyny is a radical act of self-love. It frees us to be our authentic selves and lift each other up, rather than tear each other down for crumbs of male approval.
If you're looking for a guided resource to understand feminism better, confront internalized misogyny and embrace self-love, check out my "Feminist Inc: EmpowerHER Journal." It provides writing prompts and activities for self-discovery on your empowerment journey.
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Okay. Bye.
A Minute In My Head