Men Are Not the Ultimate Prize:

How Women Can Stop Chasing and Start Living

So many women have been brainwashed into thinking that the best thing they will ever achieve is a man. Of course, this gives men the unfounded confidence that they are the ultimate prize and that no matter what they do any woman will be lucky to have them because they are a man.

Women have internalized this message by marrying useless men who can’t and won’t care for them, so they can say “at least I have a man”. We have been conditioned to think that we are nothing without a man by our side that we often villainize women that don’t have a man or that don’t want a man.

Most times, in our pursuit of holding a man tight so we can be deemed worthy. We lose ourselves as people, especially as women. We are often told to be nice and submissive, not to laugh too loud or take up too much space. So that we won’t chase the men away.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve been told not to laugh too loud because I’m a “lady”. I’ve been told to tone it down, tone my feminism down so that I will find a husband. I’ve been told that I’m too much and too this and too that.

And I know I’m not alone in that. I’m not the first lady to be told that and right now, I won’t be the last.

A lot of women sacrifice everything and I mean everything to "keep happy homes." You hear statements like women are the ones that keep the family together or women are superheroes and superhumans. But at what cost to themselves? In their bid to satisfy their partners, they lose themselves.

But here's the truth we need to confront: there's nothing wrong with feeling things deeply and loving with all your heart. It doesn't make you weak; it makes you human. It doesn't make you a fool; it makes you a woman. You're not more than him, but you're equal to him.

So, let's get one thing straight. It's not about diminishing your love or devotion. It's about understanding that love should be a partnership, a mutual exchange of care and support. If you find yourself sacrificing your dreams, ambitions, and identity while your partner remains unchanged, it's time for a serious conversation.

Ask yourself the crucial question: "Would he do the same for me?" You rarely hear of a man abandoning his career to care for his children so that his wife can advance career-wise. But we hear of women who do that every day, leaving their dreams at the door so their partner can fulfill theirs.

If your answer is no, that this man wouldn't make the same sacrifices for you, then it's essential to reconsider the dynamics of your relationship. You can love truly and fully without neglecting yourself. You are not here to carry the world's burdens on your shoulders; you are here to live your life, chase your dreams, and find a partner who supports you just as you support them.

It's high time we shattered the myth that women exist solely to complete men. You are complete on your own, with your own dreams, aspirations, and passions. Remember, love is beautiful when it's shared equally, when both partners lift each other up, and when no one loses themselves in the process.

How to Stop Chasing and Start Living

So, how can we stop chasing men and start living our lives as women? Here are some practical steps that we can take to break free from the myth of completing men and embrace our own wholeness and power.

Know your worth. You are not defined by your relationship status, your appearance, or your achievements. You are a valuable and worthy person just as you are, with your own strengths, talents, and passions. Don’t let anyone make you feel less than you are, or tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. You have the right to make your own choices and pursue your own happiness.
Set healthy boundaries. You don’t have to tolerate disrespect, abuse, or neglect from anyone, especially not from your partner. You have the right to say no, to express your needs and feelings, and to ask for what you want. You also have the right to walk away from toxic or harmful situations that drain your energy and joy. Learn to say no to what doesn’t serve you, and yes to what does.

Cultivate your interests and hobbies. You are not here to be someone’s accessory or cheerleader. You are here to be yourself, with your own interests and hobbies that make you happy and fulfilled. Whether it’s reading, writing, painting, dancing, gardening, traveling, or anything else that sparks your curiosity and creativity, find time to do what you love and enjoy. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty or selfish for pursuing your passions.

Build your support network. You don’t have to go through life alone. You have friends, family, colleagues, mentors, and other people who care about you and support you. Reach out to them when you need help, advice, or encouragement. Share your joys and sorrows with them. Celebrate your successes and learn from your failures with them. Surround yourself with positive and uplifting people who inspire you and motivate you.

Explore new opportunities and challenges. You don’t have to limit yourself to what you know or what you’ve done before. You have the potential to grow and learn new things every day. Seek out new opportunities and challenges that excite you and challenge you. Whether it’s taking a new course, learning a new skill, applying for a new job, starting a new project, or traveling to a new place, don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and try something new.

Love yourself first. You don’t have to wait for someone else to love you or validate you. You have the power to love yourself first and foremost. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion. Respect your body and mind. Nourish your soul and spirit. Appreciate your uniqueness and beauty. Celebrate your achievements and progress. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and flaws. Be proud of who you are and who you’re becoming.
By following these steps, we can stop chasing men and start living our lives as women. We can stop looking for someone else to complete us, and start realizing that we are complete on our own. We can stop giving up our power and identity, and start reclaiming our power and identity. We can stop living in fear and doubt, and start living in confidence and joy.

In conclusion, we need to stop letting society dictate how we should live our lives as women. We need to stop settling for less than we deserve and start demanding respect and equality from our partners.

We need to stop silencing our voices and start expressing our opinions and emotions. We need to stop shrinking ourselves and start expanding our horizons.

We are not here to please men; we are here to please ourselves. We are not here to complete men; we are here to complement them. We are not here to be their shadows; we are here to be their partners. We are women, and we are enough.